December 8, 2011
With the thin cold air blowing through the Bay Area signaling the end of autumn and harking the edge of the winter solstace approaching, this is the time of year when the pace of everything picks up. The last papers to write, projects to complete, and tests to take amidst the frenzy of the holiday season, holiday parties, "holidates", and an economy full of Occupy movements, Mit Romney and Newt Gingrich attempting to lead the GOP in a bid for the presidency. What's one to make of all this? From my perspective--it's a lot.
All that is certain and stable in my life is coming into the warmth of Lotus Cuisine of India for a consistently royal Indian lunch (whenever possible) to be warmly greeted by Pal, Amba, and sometimes Satu Sroa. It seems like when I stop for lunch (and for dinner on the rare occasion)--being inside their restaurants is one of the fewest pleasures I have guaranteed. I will also be taking my second vegetarian Indian cooking class a short distance away at Lotus Chaat & Spices next Monday evening immediately following my three-hour beginning voice class recital and written final period.
My life could not be fuller in the world of academia with so much unpredictability about what 2012 may hold. I am stressed with having to move out of my current rental on the 23rd and probably temporarily staying with my mother (for which I am grateful and thankful) through the first week of the New Year while I struggle with finding a new shared room rental because Uncle Sam doesn't give me enough of a financial bandwidth to afford my single studio apartment--anywhere. The stress of having to deal with this over Christmas isn't fun as this is the WORST time to find a new place to live.
The holiday season is one that is challenging to me. I hate being single year round, but the Christmas season is when it hits the hardest for me. Then I read an article online at Yahoo! the other day. "Holidates"! The idea came from two young women in the GenY category who had posted on Craigslist. But what they posted for should have really read "Rent-a-date". The idea is a need for young women to cover up for their otherwise massive insecurities with being single at a party which reads "If I'm with someone, I won't be asked who I came to this party with, if I'm single, or therefore, why I'm single." But there's little room for a gray-area negotiation. I date you, you date me. Then once the calendar strikes January 1st, one of us will dump the other--no questions asked.
It strikes me as the most superficial way to behave in a society where everyone expects everyone else to come with someone else and be this perfect, "I have all my shit together and nothing could possibly be wrong in my life". Kind of like shoving all the garbage under the rug so it won't be seen by the guests arriving. Personally, I don't understand the entire idea of "holidates" nor do I agree with it. I thought we were supposed to be happy with being single, not just at a party but in general.
I will confess that for me personally, being single at the holidays is only one of several stressors I have to contend with. The other stressors are finding a nw rental, getting through finals week next week, and trying to make it to the end of the year without the need for several six packs of my favorite beer or antidepressants. (And I don't believe in antidepressants anyway.) Maybe a couple rounds of really good sex in a relaxed environment would help. But in order to have sex, I have to have a woman who is madly attracted to me. The day that happens is the day something becomes terribly wrong with me. Because as the story goes, I'm npt supposed to be coupled up with another woman. That doesn't fit the Jesse story we all know.
This evening I will be attending an open house for Music Professor Emeritus Stan Kraczek and his wife Eileen who are visiting Marin from their home in Utah to attend the Oratorio Chorus semester-end concerts coming up this weekend. It will be good to see and briefly visit with Stan who I took ear training, music history, and choral ensembles with while I was a full-time student at College of Marin.
Should be a fun evening!